I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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