I love black thongs
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
