WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize