i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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