I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
