Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize