hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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