she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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