dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"