I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?