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R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
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