brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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