Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
The air taste purple.
Randomize
