I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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