I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I touched a dick in church today
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
