What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
