Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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