garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize