And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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