Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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