Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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