I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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