they need to just BURY HIM!
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
