U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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