I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
