have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Don't EVER smell your tampon
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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