I wish they made helmets for livers.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
either way he was missing a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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