I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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