it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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