Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
