Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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