I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
a search helicopter?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
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