Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
