She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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