I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
