I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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