I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
