if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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