operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
