i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
