i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
