I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
