Already got asked if we're dating
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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