i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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