hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize