I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I hope mine doesn't look like that
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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