I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize