Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
