Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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