You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
