so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
