Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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