I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
