I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I am naked and annoyed.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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