What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
