i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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