doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize