dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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