Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
