Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
