i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
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