yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
